(Read while playing Carly Comando’s “Everyday”)
Ever had a situation that seemed so completely unfair that it left you speechless? I’ve had that feeling many times. We always seem prepared for the unexpected, until the unexpected happens. This is especially true if you are a person of your word. If you give your word because there is honor in you, then you may assume that others have the same capacity. The truth is that honor and giving our word has become something of the past. It even seems like ‘giving your word’ has become an expression, figurative speech, not serious.
Then betrayal happens.
Suddenly, you remember all the words. They come to you, at you, through you furiously fast. You replay every moment. You’ve never been paranoid, but today you are a master at it. Because…
“What did I do to deserve this?” “How could they lie so easily?” “He was there, he saw everything! Why did he lie?!?”
Perhaps it is not as bad. You’ve been wronged, or at least you feel you have. At first, you feel that you’ve made the right choice in leaving a bad situation. Yet now, you wonder. Why did YOU have to be the one to go? Why did YOU have to be the BIGGER person? Screw the bigger person. Fuck the bigger person. Can’t we just be trivial for a second here? Can’t we just bitch and complain one more time!? Can I just rant for a second here and empty my soul into your ears?? CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING! SCREECHING! HOLLERING!
Pain, depression, sweat, sleeplessness, paranoia. FALL ASLEEP, START OVER TOMORROW. REPEAT.
It had to be you, because you are the daughter of light. It had to be you, because you are the son of justice.
It had to be you. Thrive, rise, come back, move on.
The words. They mean something.