Bad advice that may be good for you: burn the bridge

This is my and my very abstract mind; I will apologize in advance for all the nonsense you may be about to read.

Have you ever stared at the bridge and wanted to burn it to the ground?  Not literally!  Picture the bridge being a relationship with a boss, a friend, a family member, and so forth.  I am almost 100 percent certain that all of you reading this post have been in that very same spot.  You know the bridge is close to falling down, you know that it cannot sustain the weight of this relationship.  Yet, you keep putting off the inevitable.  I wish that we would all be a little less concerned with being politically correct.  If we could, for once in our lives, forget about being so civil and just tell the truth.

Although, I do see the problem with the level of honestly that I am proposing.  It sounds pretty outrageous; but step back for a second and consider this well.  I do not expect you to go out and insult all of the people that may have done you wrong, or to snap at anyone who annoys you.  This post is not about randomly or ceremoniously hurting people’s feelings.  This is about using honesty as a power tool.  You see?  If you are honest, you do not have to hurt anyone’s feelings when you apply authenticity in your communication.

If you were the person receiving the message, how would you best receive the information that is being given to you?  In simple terms:  put yourself in the person’s shoes, but do not stop yourself from giving the message.

There are times when you will simply need to ‘burn the bridge’ of that relationship because it does not do you well.  The same holds true for that other person.  Sometimes we get so consumed by a certain relationship that we truly forget ourselves.  We forget what is important, and we forget our priorities.  Sure, priorities and goals change.  However, bridges may need to be taken down when we stop being ourselves.  When we start resigning to ourselves.  When we stop dreaming, and when we start believing in limitations.  These are things that are not good for anyone.

I have personally burned quite a few bridges in my lifetime.  The difference between the bridges that I burned in my 20s, compared to those that I have burned as I have gotten older is rather simple:  I cared a bit more as I got older.  In my 20s, I was bold and knew that I had a life ahead of me.  I did not have the responsibility of a family, and I only had to take care of myself.  These days I do have a family that depends on my financial stability to thrive in many areas.  Having a high stress level job in a highly specialized area did not help diminish the level of stressed that I faced.  There was a point when I had to take a leadership stance and say “no more!”  Burning certain bridges would guarantee that I never looked back.  Burning those bridges separated me from the negative environment that I encountered on a daily basis.

However, burning a bridge and moving on does not mean that you get to “move on” immediately.  There is a period of time when you should detox yourself and forget the madness.  Do yourself a favor and spend time appreciating yourself.  There may be negative thoughts lurking here and there; however, nothing will prove more valuable than knowing that you are, and never stopped being, a valuable person.

If you feel that messing up certain relationships so that they will simply get out of your life will benefit you, do it.  Join the club.  You will be better off.  I saw somewhere a line that read “if the door does not open for you, it is not your door.”  The same holds true about those wrong paths with the wrong bridges attached to them.

Have faith; your bridge will come.  There is a greater day for you in the horizon.


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